This is my 28-year old cousin Mario Merino, his wife, and their adorable 2-year old son. Mario was recently diagnosed with Stage IV stomach cancer.

He’s brave. He’s a fighter.

As you know, the medical expense to treat this disease is very costly. Please, if you do anything today, click this link and read his story.

Please consider helping out in any possible way you can. And as always, good thoughts, support and prayers on their behalf, would mean the world.

Much Love…Carolina

To wish my dear, sweet friend a happy, wonderful, and bestest birthday!

Happy Birthday Sherry!

I’m truly lucky to have a friend like you.

Better late than never, right?

Also, I can’t wait until REIK in December!!!!

Heart you.

Caro

But let’s keep it real, you know me, and you know that I’m just as excited about dinner at one of my favorite places, The Cedars Social.

So, as to make your Friday just a little more awesome, I’m sharing this loveliness with you.

I was supposed to see Adele in concert on Oct. 21st. Now that she cancelled her tour, that’s not happening. So as to quell my sadness over this turn of events, I’ve been scouring YouTube for random performances of hers.

I know this is quite the statement, but I believe I can say with all certainty, that this is my favorite song of hers:

And this, well, it’s just gorgeous. It is a cover of one of my most favorite songs in the world:

[image via]

During my time away, this humble little space of mine on the internets, turned three. It was three years ago that I chose to embark on this life documenting, life journaling process. I had no clue what this was when I started and even less of a clue regarding what it would or could possibly become.

I’ve taken many breaks, I’ve quit so many times, because frankly, that’s what I’m good at. However, each time I do, it pulls me back in. I end up missing it, craving the creative outlet that it’s provided me on a daily basis. And just like that, I return.

By the same token, writing something, anything within the confines of this blank box has also become somewhat polarizing. I have struggled for probably the entirety of the past three years to find a true voice or solid focus on what I wanted this space to express. You have been witnesses to the numerous re-incarnations this blog has undergone and my personal struggle to find my truth within the words and images I chose to share.

Yet still, with all of that, I can’t be anything but incredibly grateful for what this experience of sharing has afforded me. I’ve learned to become comfortable with typing endless drivel and sharing it with a set of complete strangers. Some strangers that, dare I say, have become friends. Through this process, I’ve learned patience and gained valuable perspective. But most importantly, this space has provided a visual representation of my personal growth.

In the past three years, I’ve lived in 2 states, taken vacations, turned 30, ”came out“, held 3 different jobs, unexpectedly lost 1 job, returned to school, endured a painful breakup, and welcomed my nephew and both nieces into this world. This blog holds all of that. It holds all those precious memories that would otherwise not have been documented.

As you can see, I would have been remiss to allow my current feelings towards blogging to interfere with expressing what this space has undeniably meant to me for the last three years.

So, with that said, here’s to you little blog o’ mine. Here’s to three years of memories and growth. Here’s to all the times I tried to “quit you”, but couldn’t. Here’s to lending me  a clear path to finding my own self. Here’s to all the times you forced me to write, even when I didn’t want to, but needed to. Here’s to providing a space for me to grow into the person I’ve always wanted to be.

And lastly, here’s to forging ahead bravely into the unknown.

These are just a few I’m excited to watch:

What are YOU looking forward to? Any good movies I should be excited about? Spill. 

[image via]

I’ve been thinking about this lately. Being who you really are is something very tricky. No matter who you are and where you are in life, there are always people you are wanting to impress and there’s always a side of you, the real you, that you know certain people won’t particularly care for.

I like to think that I’ve started to be more open…transparent, if you will, with my real personality. Before, I you would have NEVER, EVER caught me admitting to doing certain things that I do. I grew up very Mormon. I also grew up in a world shrouded in the constant worry of “what will other people think”. I was always worried to come across a certain way, especially to those I knew would look down upon those thoughts/actions. It was even worse, when I realized that being that way was quite enjoyable.

Eventually I grew tired of feeling the need to hide my real self to most people. You’ve seen me write this a thousand times, but by real self I mean…gay, feisty, selfish, potty mouth, inappropriate, an avid drinker, etc and so forth. I was raised to believe that these things are bad. I mean, ask any Mormon, they’ll tell you. I’m quite sure I tend to make the Mormons who have remained my friends quite uncomfortable. But yet, they still love/accept me with all of this, which only makes me love them MORE! They don’t let any of that get in the way of seeing the other parts of the real me that they can connect with. That very real part of me that is kind, loving, sweet, sensitive to their wants & beliefs, a good friend, and consummate giver.

I lived in Utah for over a year and I can honestly say I’ve never been more INAUTHENTIC to my real self than during that time. It had nothing to do with anyone else or the fact that I was living close to my family again. It had more to do with the belief that I was expected to act a certain way. I was raised to be proper, polite, not to ruffle feathers, to make a good impression, to want others to think I’m a “good example”. So, for the most part, I tried to do that while there. I didn’t want my brother’s friends to think his sister was a total heathen. I didn’t want them to judge him based on my words & actions.

A lot of my dad’s family lives in Utah. I have an uncle, aunts, cousins, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins (you get the picture). This was my first time interacting with all of this family as an adult. I didn’t want to give a bad impression. I didn’t want them to think my parents raised one of “those types of kids”. I wanted them to think highly of me. And now that it’s all over I just feel bad that I didn’t give them the chance to get to know the real me. They probably would have liked her just as much!

I realize, through writing this, that I’m writing it entirely for me. I obviously still have very present issues with this which I’m trying to work through.

I think the desire to make a good first impression and want people to like me, will always exist. But it no longer dictates my every action. I’m much less concerned with what people think and far more interested in being considered authentic.

That’s what I truly want. I want someone to know that what they see/read/hear is what they get. I want someone to feel comfortable in the fact that I’m always being me.

It’s a process. I’m still evolving and growing. I’m still battling the ideas that were instilled in me and are still a part of me. I still filter A LOT and worry about how something I say will be taken.

But I’ve also learned to be kinder to myself. I’ve learned to accept me in the same way I want others to. And this y’all is big…MONUMENTAL in fact.

]]> http://midulcevida.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/inspired-by-being-who-you-are/feed/ 1 Carolina badass http://midulcevida.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/in-which-i-visit-family-in-vegas/ http://midulcevida.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/in-which-i-visit-family-in-vegas/#comments Tue, 23 Aug 2011 19:37:57 +0000 Carolina http://midulcevida.wordpress.com/?p=5333 Continue reading →]]> First of all, I don’t have many pictures to share, but I will share the few that I do have. I would really just love to further bombard you with pictures of Graciela, but I won’t even though, that’s mainly what I focused on while in Vegas last week.

I can sum up this trip in 2 words:

Baby & Food

I loved being there with Luis, Natalia, and Graciela. I have so much fun with them. Every morning Luis would bring Graciela to me so I could watch her until Natalia woke up around noon. I loved this time I had with the baby. I would feed her & put her to sleep. She’s just so sweet. I truly fell in love.

We ate out probably 3 times a day, everyday. I worked out 4 days while I was there. I probably still gained weight. Oh well, I tried at least.

Our friend Sherry joined us for the last few days and the eating just continued. I’m glad she came. We laughed and swam and of course, we ate some more.

I was trying to imagine the life I would be living had I moved there back in 2009 like I was supposed to. But then I remind myself that I’m here (in Dallas) for a reason. A reason that will pay off in the end. But still, living away from family…SUCKS!

Thank you Luis & Nat for hosting me and putting up with me. I loved spending time with you and I love your little family.

For being able to bond with sweet, baby love Graciela

For incessant laughter

For copious amounts of delicious food

For great times with friends

For the unconditional love of family

For newborn baby smells

For lessons learned

For second chances

For being accepted…quirky, loud, snarky, awkward and all

For vacations that restore you back to sanity

It’s Friday that wonderful and glorious day most of us look forward to all week.

[This is also my 455th post. After 2 years and 10 months of blogging. Not too shabby.]

And because today is such a happy & festive day, I’ve decided to use that positive energy as the catalyst for GRATITUDE ON A FRIDAY! I see no better way to commemorate this day than to discuss the things that I’m truly grateful for and/or loving.

1.

The fact that I’m boarding a plane at 7 am tomorrow morning to Las Vegas. I’ll get to hang out with family and friends. That’s always good times!

2.

My dad still allowing me to be a “daddy’s girl” at my ripe old age of 32. I took him to my favorite burger joint last night. We talked and laughed. After the things we’ve been through, knowing that that relationship is still there, is nice!

3.

Meeting new people. Even if it can prove to be slightly awkward in the beginning. When you meet someone you genuinely click with and like, it’s worth all the awkwardness that came before.

4.

A new Zumba class that I actually adore. I literally re-arranged my fall school schedule to accommodate being able to attend this class. It’s the funnest class I’ve been to in a little over a year of taking Zumba. It’s definitely a party!

5.

Anything sweet potato: Sweet potato chips, sweet potato fries, sweet potato pancakes, sweet potato pie. I’m currently obsessed, if you can’t tell.

6.

Finally learning how to save money. When I tell you I’m a hot mess, I mean it. It’s very for serious. I put myself on a strict financial diet and it seems to be working. Yay for progress!

7.

Planning upcoming trips to D.C., Charleston, and Seattle. More on that later.

8.

Iced green tea (as per usual), good hand/eye coordination, friends who deliver just the right amount of inapropriate text messaging at just the right times, my favorite Spanish music, a new set of 36-color sharpies to use at work, people who want to try to get to know me before they just rule me out, making a thousand lists and never crossing anything off, and YOU!

I’m ending this list a little short. I usually like nice, round numbers & am weirded out not ending on like 10 or something. I know, I’m weird. That post is for another day (next week)

Have a fantastical weekend friends!

[image via my masterful iphone photographing/instagramming/picniking skillz]